Sorry I’ve been away, been moving my elderly parents into their new condo nearby.

I’ve entered a new phase of life, I’ve heard it called the sandwich phase, where a person is sandwiched between the responsibilities to your children and to your elderly parents.

It’s not easy taking care of so many people.

Many times I feel like the mat of a trampoline, with springs stretching me towards all the people in my social circle.

And add to that trying to write regularly AND not neglect a blog.

One of my relatives was talking about an elderly uncle of his who’d become so diminished by Alzheimers and being bed-ridden that he didn’t even comprehend his existence. He just lay there, waiting for the nurse on attendance to attend him and my relative wondered, why do we have to live that long?

On more than one occasion he’s jokingly stated that someone should shoot him before he gets to that state.

He out and out asked me why God would allow such a thing?

The best answer I could come up with, is that this situation becomes a test on their family members to see if they’ll step up and take care of the person.

I’ve always hesitated questioning God’s purpose. I feel as though each one of us an infinitesimal speck in the vast order of the universe subject to the plan of a being with access to ALL knowledge, not just the piddly little slice of it that we can comprehend. I’ve always believed there’s a reason for everything, even when we can’t see it.

But now, I wonder, if this whole idea of being independent and a useful contributor to society isn’t fraught with its own sense of arrogance.

If we hope to die before we reach the stage where we will be dependent on others it means that we look down on such dependence. We pride ourselves in our being independent. But in fact, are we really?

Everyday we depend on the grace and mercy of God, so this feeling of independence is illusory at best.

I think of my own parents who were so fiercely independent, and now the way my father looks at me when I cut his nails or trim his beard or put his shoes on with their velcro closures and it make me think of all the times he must have done that for me when I was too young to do it myself.

It makes me feel humble.

It makes me feel grateful.

And it makes me feel tender towards them both.

And it makes me sad to think of how many elderly parents are abused by their grown up children who remember every slight or every grudge they might have against them.

In the Quran God talks about the stages of life, how we start out helpless and we reach full strength and how some of return to helplessness in our old age and I do think there are lessons to be learned from it.

In the midst of my writing career I have to take time to ensure the ones who nurtured me when I was helpless, are taken care of, and there’s a great lesson in that.

It kind of puts the whole career thing into perspective.

What is more important?

If everyone just took care of their responsibilities, our whole societies would be a LOT better off!

There’d be no homelessness, there’d be no poverty.

Because every homeless poor person is in fact connected to other people in some way or form.

And we should all be looking out for one another.

In some ways in fact, taking care of the elderly has given me renewed focus on my writing. I have some good news to share…but not yet. Soon insha Allah.

Soon.