I guess it takes rejoining Facebook to realize that I’ve lost four friends over the years–one Muslim, one Jewish and two Christian.

How very egalitarian of me!

I’m not sure what I did.

No, I must be honest. In one of the situations I know exactly what I did! I made the mistake of telling the person the truth, as I saw it, about her writing. Telling her that she needed to spend less time on social media and more time working on her craft–that she had EXCELLENT ideas but it was her execution that needed work. I even offered to help her! (I hardly ever do that!) But still she never forgave me.

And with the Jewish friend, the 2006 Israeli invasion of Lebanon was partly to blame. She was spouting the Zionist talking points of how Israel was the real victim and I couldn’t take it, I told her I ‘couldn’t do this’, and I backed away from the friendship first.

We’d been friends for more than fifteen years, and oh how I missed her. So we reconnected, agreeing to stay away from issues of politics and I asked her if she could at least admit that Israel bore part of the responsibility for the plight of the Palestinians and her response was, “Of course, Israel’s not perfect…”

It was enough for me that she could at least admit that much.

Probably a mistake on my part. And even as we started getting back together there was a part of me that knew it wouldn’t last.

And it didn’t.

But what I still don’t understand is why did she accept a gift from me, a copy of Big Red Lollipop, the night before she broke it off the next day?

Was it the book?

How could it have been?

I would think it was an isolated experience except the same thing happened with another friend. We met downtown, while she was in town and I gave her a copy of Wanting Mor and she was thrilled, saying she couldn’t wait to read it on the plane back, and she’d let me know what she thought as soon as she was done… and then silence.

Radio silence for about four years, yeah, that sounds right.

The temptation with facebook is to look up people you haven’t connected with for a while. It’s like you can ‘stalk’ them, read their updates, view their pictures (if they’re public) and remember the good times you believe you had together.

Pathetic!  I know!

Why is it we hanker after people who have so obviously rejected us when our lives are full of other people who love us???

And so I found her, and I friended her, and yeah, she ‘friended’ me back but no message, no ‘howdy how’ve you been?’ sort of thing at all. Just a friend back, and I’m thinking, “Why on earth did I bother???”

And then I reconnected with another friend on facebook, a Muslim I basically grew up with. I sent her a message and her response was so brief, not even answering the questions I’d posed about her daughter…I thought wow, she’s only being polite.

And again I thought, “Why did I bother?”

I remember watching some relationship expert dispensing advice and she said something interesting. She said that the people who reject you are actually doing you a favour. She was talking about romantic relationships but I think the advice holds true for friendships as well.

That by rejecting you, they’re letting you go so you can move on and find people who really are ‘that into you’.

I’m really fortunate.

I do have a lot of friends!

But three of these were my original writer friends. I thought they’d be with me on the journey to the top.

I still have some original writer friends and that’s all good. They’re wonderful!

But the more successful I get, it seems that I’m leaving some of them behind, and not by my choice.

…

Oh Pish tosh!!!

You know what’s funny?

Even as I’m finishing up this sort of silly old melancholy post, who should call but one of my daughters?

And I got to talk to one of my grandsons, who exclaimed “Nani!” and my heart took a little flip flop in my chest.

And I heard about how he’d poured honey in his head, the silly little fellow!

And he needed a bath.

Omigosh! Who the heck cares about these people who want nothing to do with me?!