13 Jan
Posted by: Rukhsana Khan in: cultures, political correctness, presentations, self-image
Because I was chosen as one of the Toronto District School Board’s writers in residence I’ve been going to various schools who’ve won visits from me.
On Thursday I was lucky enough to go to a school I’d been to several times before!
One of the things I like best about the Toronto School board is that they really make a conscious effort to equalize the situations between the various public schools. The public schools in underpriveleged areas get extra funds to give their students opportunities to learn and better themselves.
These are often called ‘model’ schools. But basically, they’re ‘poor’ schools. The only ones who don’t seem to know it are the kids who go there.
When I first got published, these were the schools I went to the most! Being in poor areas, they had LOTS of Muslim students, the children of immigrants who were struggling to establish themselves just like my family did when we first got here.
I don’t see anything wrong with being poor.
I grew up poor.
I remember watching The Carol Burnett Show where she appeared on stage at the end of the show as a cleaning lady with a mop and bucket. I kind of admired her for it.
Growing up, the most interesting stories I read were often about poor kids like me.
The Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) was ‘poor’ according to our standards. So was Jesus (peace be upon him). And Moses may have grown up in the pharoah’s palace but he was definitely ‘poor’ later on.
What’s the shame in it?
I really don’t get it.
I guess the fact that my father would often say this particular saying, “Poverty is my pride.” also cemented into me that, hey, there’s nothing wrong with not having money.
And as I looked upon the other people at school who always inevitably had more than me, I reflected on the fact that the stuff they had didn’t actually make them better people.
They just had more stuff. And I came to the conclusion a LONG time ago that what you HAVE is not what DEFINES you.
I don’t know. Maybe I’m weird that way.
But the mistake I made on Thursday when I went to this ‘poor’ school, was mentioning the fact that it was indeed a poor school and that most of the kids in the school were ‘poor’.
Now of course, there’s poor and there’s ‘poor’.
The ‘poor’ in Canada still have ipods and fancy shoes and microwaves and color T.V.’s. (Wasn’t there a Republican ad not too long ago about that very thing?) And then there are those who are really poor and go hungry.
I don’t have an ipod. I suppose I could buy one, but I don’t see the point of wasting money like that.
But anyway, the point is, the kids got indignant when I said they were poor.
They didn’t realize it. They just didn’t see it.
Other people were poor, not them!
And yet, in every single category they qualified as those who were disadvantaged.
And that told me they’d bought into the negative idea of being poor. Wow. Just wow.
And then I started looking at it from their perspective. The thing about that school was that there wasn’t very much income disparity.
Everyone was basically at the same level. They were basically ALL poor. So of course if you grow up surrounded by people who are at basically the same economic level as you, you won’t ‘feel’ poor.
You’ll feel normal–even if you’re not exactly, compared to the rest of the country.
Well…anyway, what I really learned was don’t ever tell a group of kids that they’re poor! It’ll distract from the message of the rest of the presentation!
When I told my daughters and son in laws about the experience, they all basically told me, “Duh! You don’t say that!”
And one of my daughters even went on to say that the way I viewed things was ‘weird’. So basically I’m just weird.
Uh huh. It isn’t the first time they’ve come to that conclusion, and I’m sure it won’t be the last.
6 Responses
Umm Eesa
14|Jan|2013 1I actually never heard that story on Friday. I would say there is probably a better way to say it in order to get your point across. Maybe there is a valid point you were trying to make. However people tend to get stuck on a sensitive word and the rest of what follows is completely missed.
Rukhsana Khan
14|Jan|2013 2Yes exactly. They got stuck on the idea of being poor being negative.
Ruqayyah
15|Jan|2013 3I didn’t hear that story on Friday either…but I would have said Duh too lol. Kids these days look at the materialistic things they have to weigh their social status – if they have the ipod, jordans, phones, etc then they think they’re rolling in it even if their parents are having trouble making ends meet. So you can’t tell someone who thinks they’re rich that they’re poor – they just won’t believe you.
Rukhsana Khan
16|Jan|2013 4Yeah, I get that now.
But honestly I think that’s just incredibly stupid!
Atiyya
17|Jan|2013 5Then you get kids at private schools but whose parents can’t afford the same jet-setting holidays that their friends go on; or children of professional parents living in the Emirates who feel they are poor in comparison to classmates who each have a personal assistant (aka nanny) who walks them to their first year classroom, takes out their stationary, asks them if they need water, if they are too hot/too cold, and leave only when the bell sounds for all no-students to leave.
Stupid – yes. But we still have to teach our children to navigate under all conditions.
Rukhsana Khan
17|Jan|2013 6Wow. I can’t imagine having a nanny taking out my stationery for me!
Yes, we sure do have to teach our kids to navigate under all conditions. And honestly, I wonder if the kids who have to ‘rough’ it don’t have some advantages in the long run.
I was talking to my son yesterday and he was saying his professor at school had spoken to him rudely and he had wanted to say something, ‘assert’ himself. And I told him, “Don’t.”
What followed was a conversation about how to deal with people in authority over you. I learned at a young age, you don’t quibble. You wait till you’re independent to ‘assert’ yourself.
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