is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It’s not just in some of us; it’s in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”

A lot of people mistakenly attribute this to Nelson Mandela, but it was actually a lady named Marianne Williamson who said this in one of her books.

I’ve always embraced the sentiment of this quote. I think she’s quite right in many ways, and yet in other ways it’s a bit on the idealistic naive side.

Especially when she says:”There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you.” It might not be ‘enlightened’ but it is good self-preservation.

Because like it or not there are definitely people out there who are not automatically ‘liberated’ when  you liberate yourself.

People who feel dark inside, when you happen to shine.

And this is often most true of family members.

Beware of jealousy.

And especially beware of jealous family members!

I’m starting to think I’ve used my weight to literally create a kind of buffer with the world. Just like rape victims will sometimes put on weight to subconsciously repel advances, I may have carried this weight all these years to ‘reassure’ others that hey, I don’t have it that good.

Geez, put it like that and it sounds absolutely silly.

And yet for a while it worked, I guess.

I ‘flew under the radar’.

It’s easy for people to dismiss you and think you’re stupid and of no consequence if you’re fat.

Dr. Phil always says that people do what works for them, and he’d had guests on who swore they wanted to lose the weight and yet kept sabotaging themselves in myriad ways. Uh huh, sounds like me.

And there was one interview that Oprah gave where she talked about how people reacted to her differently when she was thin from when she was fat.

They were more ‘comfortable’ with her when she was fat.

Uh huh. I completely understand.

But I think those days for me are over.

Funny thing is, when I was younger I wanted nothing more than to shine.

And now…I just want the work to.

So it’s time to get healthy, insha Allah. And this is way more than a new year’s resolution.

Wishing you all have the courage to shine your best, irregardless of any people around you who may wish you ill.