Not sure why I should be suffering this now!

But it sure feels like I am.

I googled ‘symptoms of burnout’ and came across this website:

And wow, of all the symptoms listed, I have most of them!

And tired!

I’m bone weary!

It doesn’t help that my shoulders went into some kind of spasm and there’s pain all across the top of my back and neck.

The one thing that has helped, ironically, is walking on the treadmill.

And despite feeling like ‘what’s-the-point-writing-my-heart-out-no-one-will-notice’, I wrote a good deal on the sequel and even completed a scene for the screenplay.

What I don’t get is why it’s happening now.

When I’ve actually got time to relax.

I should be chilling. I should be enjoying my summer.

I should be admiring my tigerlillies in full bloom! (Masha Allah they’re four and a half feet tall and have blooms the size of grapefruits on them!)

Maybe it’s because my schedule was too hectic before for me to take time to burnout.

Does that sound weird or what?

I can’t remember where I heard the adage: “A lesson not learned is doomed to be repeated.” Might have been on Oprah. Whatever the case, this seems to be a lesson I’m constantly learning.

Abuse the body, stress it out, ride it, ride it, don’t get enough sleep, and then pay for it at a time like this.

Funny thing is I still have the discipline to get most of my work done.

And in the past when I felt this way I just waited for the tide to turn, and the numbness to go away.

It will, insha Allah.

I was going to blog about writing blurbs tonight, but reading the galleys of the novel I’m supposed to blurb has left me feeling just empty.

I had a friend who had a policy that she wouldn’t blurb people’s books.

At the time it seemed kind of hard-hearted, but I totally understand now.

How do you blurb something you’re not crazy in love with?

What do you say?

Your reputation is on the line too.

I should have put conditions on this.

In hind sight I should have made provisions for the eventuality that I might not like it.

Well live and learn.

And doing this all at time when I feel as soggy as a piece of pasta that’s been boiled for half an hour.

I hope I don’t depress the heck out of whoever might be reading this.

I did toy with the idea of keeping this difficulty to myself, but when I started blogging I decided that I’d be pretty darn honest about the whole journey. And I wouldn’t just blog about the ups, but also about the downs.

And this is a very manic-depressive type of business. Chock-full of ups and downs.

I just hope my shoulders feel better in the morning.

If they’re good, I can deal with the rest.