there is ease.

I keep telling myself, but I’m not quite believing it right now.

I know it intrinsically, but I’m not *feeling* it if you know what I mean.

We got the kitchen in on Monday. Beautiful granite counters, cabinets with that special type of closure where it doesn’t slam, I believe the colour is ‘mocha’, but to me it’s just a nice reddish brown maple. Our white appliances look a bit stark in comparison, but no way do we need to change them to stainless steel.

I’ve been slowly putting everything back into the new cabinets, and darn it there’s a part of me who feels like this menial work is beneath me–ha! and another part of me that’s saying, “Suck it up princess, it’s necessary!”

Of course I can’t just put everything back. I have to go through it carefully and toss the stuff that I really don’t need.

Like oregano flakes that must be about eight years old–at least. Unopened too for goodness sakes! And chili powder! When was the last time I made chili???

For a moment I felt like one of those hoarders who has dresses cluttering their closet with the tags still on them.

And even as I’m wiping the construction dust off brand new shelves and cutting vinyl shelf liner, I bought from the hardware store, to fit them, I’ve got story ideas whirling around like miniature tornadoes in my head. They’ve been leaving all sorts of devastation, especially with regards to confidence in my ability to write.

Today was Oprah’s last show, and yup, that got me teared up too.

I owe her a debt of gratitude. One of the best lessons I learned from her show was not to take things personally.

It has helped a HUGE amount in my dealings with people!

But more than that she’s taught me that you can overcome your appearance.

When she first started her talk show, it was ‘unthinkable’ that an African American woman could ever achieve her type of success.

But with her sheer sense of personality, she was able to overcome all her viewers’ prejudices and make them love her.

She wasn’t perfect, but she was able to laugh at herself and be human, and she tuned into her own curiosity and raised the whole talk show genre up a couple of notches.

Oh Jerry Springer’s still kicking around the nether channels, but Oprah shines!

They say you should model yourself after successful people.

Don’t copy them…MODEL them.

That is do your own thing, but use some of their tactics.

There are two people I’ve modeled myself after to a certain degree. Robert Munsch in the way he used his storytelling to promote his books, and Oprah in the way she was able to speak to and reach across racial barriers to engage an audience.

Of course my books are nothing like Robert Munsch’s!!!!

And what I talk about is often nothing like Oprah’s shows.

But the way I do it, is modeled after her.

And like Oprah, I follow my own curiosity. Both in the things I write about and in the way I present those things I’ve written about–to audiences afterwards.

I know this sounds incredibly pompous but I’d always hoped she’d interview me one day! LOL.

And with her last show I thought, Darn! Guess that’ll never happen.

She’s a sweet lady, and she believes in God. May God forgive her for any wrong she has done and any shortcomings she has.

I took a break from the kitchen to come and write this blog post, and now I’ve got to go back and finish up where I left off.

And the worse thing is for some reason the drawer measurements are giving me an incredible amount of hassle!

I’ve cut two pieces of vinyl, sure that they’d fit and both times they were too small! And the water’s not hooked up yet so I’m still washing the dishes in the laundry tub.

Grrr!

I bet Oprah would have someone to do this kind of stuff for her!

“Suck it up princess, this stuff is necessary. It might even be character building.”

*sigh*