It probably wasn’t a good idea to watch mythbusters right before I watched Kill Bill (for the second time I think).

The guys in Mythbusters had just busted a scene in Hellboy I or II where the demon protagonist punches an SUV on the front of the trunk and the car flips headlights over tail in the air above him.

They wanted to find out if it was possible, given enough force, to flip a car like that.

It isn’t.

And it all comes down to physics.

The strength of a show like Mythbusters is that it makes science interesting. Too bad it’s not mandatory for kids to watch it in school as part of their physics class. It would make for a lot more educated audience.

And an educated audience would require screenwriters to up their ante too and they’d have to come up with more realistic and plausible and CREATIVE scenarios for our heros, demonic or otherwise, to get out of a jam.

I have to admit, I thought it might be possible given enough force, for a car to be flipped like that. We’re talking a superhuman punch. But apparently the reason it can’t be done (and they used 5000 pounds for goodness sakes!) was because where the force is being applied (a few inches from the front wheels–which would have to become the fulcrums) is too close to the fulcrums. The leverage just isn’t there.

So I watched the show and then made the mistake of watching Kill Bill, and again gosh darn it, physics ruined it for me! I mean how can a skinny little thing like Uma Thurman vanquish bigger and tougher male adversaries. She just doesn’t have the momentum behind her blows, no matter how much she’s worked out. The mass just isn’t there. Not unless she was bulky and heavy and then she wouldn’t be an attractive heroine.

Women were never meant to fight men on an even footing.

It’s just not a fair match.

And yet we’re supposed to buy this? Like we buy Charlie’s Angels, another bunch of skinny minnies, kicking the beejeezus out of grown men.

I’ve taken Tae Kwon Do.

I know about the mass and inertia of an opponent.

And yet Quentin Tarantino with the silly background music and the staging is able to manipulate the audience into thinking something physic-ally impossible is plausible.

There’s a good reason why they call it escapist drek!

But I just couldn’t escape with it this time.

I only chose the movie because hubby and I were deciding what to watch and I knew very well that he’d have no interest in the emotional drama I had picked out. I’ll have to watch it on my own.

Mind you, although he sat through Kill Bill Vol. I, he was pretty frustrated when Uma Thurman still hadn’t killed Bill by the time the movie was done. False advertising if you ask me!

I told him that happened in Vol. 2.

It was really just spending time together, laughing at a silly movie.

I’m pretty sure that even though it was a huge blockbuster when it first came out, it’s not going to stand the test of time very well.

It had me and my son giggling and my hubby scrunching a piece of cellophane very loudly through some of the bloodier scenes.

Actually when the arms and legs and heads pop off and the blood is squirting out like fountains, it reminded me a LOT of that scene in Monty Python and the Holy Grail where they meet that black knight and the hero cuts his arm off and he says, “Come back here, that was just a flesh wound.”

The ‘blood’ squirted in precisely the same way.

Silly, silly, silly.

Just another one of those flicks where white people are trying to be better kung fu masters (or natives –Last of the Mohicans–or Arabs–Lawrence of Arabia) than the originals. It’s appropriate they chose David Carradine to play Bill, the kung fu-y-ist of them all! He was the one who originally took the role from its rightful owner Bruce Lee.

Escapist drek!

p.s. Sorry for the long absence in between posts. I was busy finishing the sequel and I’ve had the flu.