With any human interaction there is bound to be friction.

Meeting new people and dealing with them, not knowing exactly what their motivations are or where they’re coming from can be difficult.

And when they treat you with disdain, it’s very easy to over react.

And it’s so easy to attribute the harshest motivations to people.

The longer I’m in this business, the more people I have to deal with. For the most part it’s been a joy but once in a while you come across someone who rubs you the wrong way.

There is the inevitable clash.

And it’s so easy to over react.

You might think you’re justified.

You might point to the trespasses of the other person as proof they’re in the wrong forgetting that every time you point a finger, three others are pointing back at you.

And then you might try to fix things by asserting yourself a little too strongly.

I think it’s a blessing that when these kinds of things happen to me, I have people around me who help me to question my role in things.

And there’s a part of me, that niggles away, till I take a better look at whether or not I went too far.

It only happens when I’ve gone too far. If I’ve reacted to other people’s malice with proportion and justice, then I’m fine. But when I feel like I’ve gone too far, that’s when I get that niggling feeling.

I live in perpetual fear of going too far.

I’ve told my loved ones that I don’t mind if other people have wronged me. I can live with that. But I don’t want to die having owed anyone anything. Having done wrong to others. (Even though I suppose in some ways that’s inevitable because sometimes we wrong others without realizing it.)

But at least in so far as I can tell, I don’t want to have overstepped my bounds.

Growing up, it always felt like a curse.

I’d be going along, trying to improve myself, trying to be ‘good’ in every way possible, and then I’d do something I felt was right at the time, but in hindsight, felt like I’d overstepped my bounds. In hindsight it appeared rather petty.

And my self-esteem would crash!

I was petty!

Oh how it would crash! And I’d be humbled and it would feel absolutely horrible. But then I’d tell myself that it was an opportunity to correct myself.

And I reminded myself of how God had corrected the Prophet (peace be upon him) on the few times when he did something wrong, and I’d think to myself that maybe the crash was a good thing. It was a blessing. It was a way for God to check me, so that perhaps I don’t become arrogant.

There are so many ways that people can go astray and one of the worst and most insidious ways is through becoming ‘proud’ of your ‘goodness’. Blah! Self-righteousness.

I think that’s the worse!

The self-righteous person goes around doing what they believe is good, not examining themselves too closely, not checking their ego and pettiness, and expects to meet their Lord with a hefty account of good deeds only to realize they squandered them with their self-righteous attitude.

Intention is everything!

God preserve us from pride!

And so, I will swallow my pride. I will beg God’s forgiveness. I will admit that I should have acted in a better way, and I will chalk it up to experience.

There’s not much I can do to fix it, it’s not like it’s something that can be fixed. What’s done is done. It’s just a matter of self-adjustment. Reacting better next time.

Checks and balances! Checks and balances!

As long as in the end there is an upward motion to developing your character, there is always hope.

There is always hope.