The first time I heard the term, I felt quite flattered.

Me? A pioneer?

It was said by a recently published Muslim author I had connected with.

Then I heard it again by another published Muslim author, and another.

And then, I don’t know, it doesn’t sound so cute.

Oh I get it. They’re saying that I came first, and that I lay the ground work, kind of.

But Pioneers feel like they’re part of the past.

A ‘has been’.

A ‘used to was’.

There was an old cartoon I remember loving as a kid, about an old dog an a young pup. The young pup was so cute and called the old dog a ‘has been’ and a ‘used to was’.

That’s what it reminds me of.

Like my heyday is over even though I feel like I’m only getting started.

Thinking about that conversation too, that I mentioned in the last post, where I was told I should write books people want to pick up.


Oh well.

First world problems.

I realized one thing today. I’ve become very undisciplined in using my writing time.

I used to write first thing in the morning, before I’d had breakfast or my cup of coffee. I can’t seem to do that any more.

So I come downstairs, have my breakfast, then I have to check emails in case something important came through overnight. (It happens! You’d be surprised at how much correspondence I get from the other side of the world.)

And then I check on Facebook, and I guess I’ve been clicking on so many uplifting articles that they’re basically what arrives in my feed. Many of the articles are interesting. Like articles about protests against the pipeline they’re trying to put through Dakota territory.

But reading all of them sure makes me feel bad for the world.

Between Syria, Myanmar, Egypt and Yemen, oh the suffering that is happening!

And here I am complaining about being called a pioneer.

Well, I guess I should smarten up and keep on keeping on.

Stop feeling sorry for myself.

I’ve started some new projects that are interesting so we’ll see.

I just have to get more disciplined about writing now that I have the time for it.