I read an interesting article about the creative process recently.

I’m always curious about other people’s processes, comparing them to my own, trying to imagine how they came up with an idea and then how they developed it so the story was properly executed.

So I came across this article written by a person charging an exorbitant amount for a book on the creative process. Not surprisingly the book went out of print quickly but the crux of the advice was around the idea that many writers are guilty of ‘wanting to have written’, not actually wanting to write.

They tense up too much.

And they don’t apply the discipline of ‘butt in chair’.

Even if they preach it to others. And I thought, “ooh, I’m guilty of that!”

During the residency workshops I told this aspiring author to just keep writing, don’t go back and edit. Finish. Give yourself permission to write a really lousy first draft and yet what do I find myself doing?

Thinking about themes and where the story is going even before the story is fully fleshed out!

And it’s so true, I want to have written! I want to have gotten that moment where something unexpected happens in what you’re writing and you think, “Wow!” but I don’t necessarily want to be doing the work to write it!

Silly, silly, silly!

Recently I was telling a good friend who’s finding it hard to fit regular writing into her busy schedule, “Ah, that’s because you’re realizing it’s work!”

Ha, ha. I felt so superior when I said that!

All during the residency I was so busy with workshops I didn’t have time or energy to write. And yet now, that my schedule has opened up somewhat, I just feel like farting around!

But no, I started a project, especially since I wasn’t blessed with another residency grant for next year, and I thought what better time to write? So I’m busy with that! But oh, it’s hard.

I want to have written!

But never mind. I’m not complaining.

Just finished a couple of pages that seem to be working, and it feels real good!

Alhamdu lillah!

I keep telling the critic at the back of my mind, I’m not trying to write a masterpiece! I’m not trying to write a masterpiece! I’m just having a little fun. And it’s worked. He’s quieted down for now.

Rocking back and forth in the perpetual rocking chair, squinting at me suspiciously from that dim corner of my mind.

While I play with words.

That’s all.