Just when you get some time off…some health problem surfaces!

You get a cold, or allergies or the flu or something starts aching.

Been dealing with some stuff over the past few days, not fun, and yet it feels really good to get back to some projects!

I really can’t believe that half the year is practically over already.

I guess so much of my life revolves around the school year and by the end of May, you see the grade threes towering like they’ve grown a foot! And forget about the grade sixes!

They grow up so fast!

Did that project with the grade 3-5’s at that school and something is leaving me feeling very restless and dissatisfied.

Not sure what it is but perhaps it’s Facebook.

It seems to be part of my regular morning routine now and I have no idea how it became such a necessity.

My technosavvy son in law, the one who fixes all my computer glitches, and whose wisdom I’ve come to rely on, warned me about Facebook.
He said that it had been found to cause depression in people and I wonder if that’s not what I’m feeling.

It’s really strange to be reading about the accomplishments about so many people, the way they wave them around like brightly colored flags, and you do your ‘liking’ and maybe you even put in a comment, and then it feels like a let down.

And then you can’t help but compare yourself, and up till then you were thinking you’re doing so well, but the VOLUME isn’t there.

You don’t have the shout outs and the likes and the comments back and you think huh?

It’s so very artificial.

And bothersome.

One thing I’d decided to do from the very beginning was NEVER EVER play any of the games!

I have successfully weened myself from Spider Solitaire, I really don’t need to get addicted to something else, thank you very much!

I don’t know, I just find this society we live in is so obnoxious in the way that if you don’t blow your own horn people assume you have nothing to celebrate.

And yet real confidence doesn’t need to advertise.

I remember a schmoozing event I went to way back where I had the intention of going around and meeting all the people I could. Introducing myself and handing out my cards! Goodness I was so gauche!

And then I was talking to a friend of mine who works as an executive assistant. She always had dreams of being an author but her parents were immigrants and couldn’t see it happening so she suffered from a lot of confidence issues. But she was a pretty good executive assistant and she spoke about her husband who was at some event. Now he was some sort of electrical contractor. Very quiet. While they were at this business event, some brash young guy comes up and starts shaking hands and introducing himself and loudly talking up his accomplishments.

As soon as he left, the guy her husband was talking to asked him, “So what do  you do?”

He told him about his electrical business, and then he asked him for his card and he gave it to him and  yes, he’s the one who got the job.

Confidence isn’t loud and flag wavy, it can be pretty quiet actually.

There’s a time to shine.

I’m just looking at my life and thinking, Alhamdu lillah, I’m doing pretty well!

Whenever you can make a comfortable living doing what you love…

I mean who can complain?

You can always find someone better off and you can always find someone worse off.

Now if I can just appease that old man critic at the back of my mind. He’s been very vociferous! Keeps telling me I’ll never write anything good again!

And I’ve always found the best way to shut him up is to not even ‘try’ to write something good. Just to write something ‘sellable’. That’s how I always shut him up in the past.

But the funny thing is, get a bit of success under your belt and it gets really intimidating!

You just have to ignore it. Each story just has to stand on its own.


Easier said than done, but I’m working on it.

Feel like I’m in the midst of a learning curve.

Not easy.

Not always fun.

But there’s no choice but to keep on.