When a rejection really hit me hard.

All the platitudes I usually comfort myself with, rang empty.

Even though, yeah, I still believe them.

I can say rejection is part of the process over and over again, but right now, I just find it hard to believe it.

I can say that Allah subhanahu wata ala’s rizq, that is His provision, is already written for me, and I don’t have to concern myself over it, that it was never written that this particular publisher would buy this particular manuscript…but it still STINGS!

The story is good!

I really think it’s good!

And it passes my own litmus test.

I always ask myself after having written a story…Would I read it, if I hadn’t written it? And the answer is a resounding yes!

After how many edits and pouring over its, it still makes me cry for goodness sakes!

But alhamdu lillah, this too shall pass.

And I’ve read some excellent articles, including an article in the latest issue of the SCBWI newsletter written by Tim J. Myers called Who Decides if You’re Worthy?

He talks about the seductive nature of external praise and recognition.

It’s a really good article! Read it about five times. Even want to rip it out and hang it on my bulletin board to remind me.

Basically the point he makes is a point I often remind myself of: You have no control over what gets published, or what gets awarded accolades.

No control whatsoever, so there’s no point in fretting about it.

Alhamdu lillah.

C’est la vie.

Just because I wrote my heart out, doesn’t mean any one else will buy it.

And maybe it’s a bit of a case of sour grapes, but it seems to me that it’s a bit like when I wrote The Roses in My Carpets.

I still consider it one of my best books and it was virtually ignored by the establishment.

I remember reading it at a sort of ‘open mike’ night at a children’s literature conference in Boston, and overhearing one educator say to another, “Kids won’t like that book! It’s too over their heads!”

Sometimes I think that educators and publishers and just the establishment that works with children, really really underestimate them!

You’d be surprised what kids will like.

When something is real, they can sense it.

And that’s because they’re so often fed a bunch of propaganda they can sniff out the real deal easily.

And of all my books, The Roses in My Carpets is one of those books that I can fall back on, that I know will reach the kids, no problem. Even before I start talking about the inspiration behind it.

I mean I’ve done that story in some of the toughest schools, with some of the toughest kids. Kids who I thought, when I first started out, needed funny stuff to entertain them!

These were kids who I assumed would respond to my funny  novel Dahling if You Luv Me Would You Please Please Smile before they would respond to The Roses in My Carpets.


Nuh uh.

Sure they liked Dahling! They laughed at all the right places.

But Roses always always hit them deeper.

And there’s a reason why it’s been in print, through three different publishers, since 1998 and is still earning royalties.

I think this novel I just finished will be somewhat like that.

It might take a while to sell, Allahu alim (God knows best), but it’s a deep novel, and it’s a good story, masha Allah, if I say so myself, and when I step back and look at it, I think yeah, it will touch kids.

And then I thought maybe the publishers couldn’t get that this Muslim character would be so caring for her family.

Oh well, what can you do?

And then today I saw this and it made me laugh out loud.

Yup, basically I feel like they’re ‘typecasting’, in children’s literature!


Ooh, this venting felt good.

Feel better already.

Quitting is not an option.

And yes, part of me knows that this may be a time of growth for me. Allahu alim. I hope so.